First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
