She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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