Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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