I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
