I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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