Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
