So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
