If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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