We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
