i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
