I didn't shave. On purpose
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
