how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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