I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
