Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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