I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
