Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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