White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
