we made out on top of his cat.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
