But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
