all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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