I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize