you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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