I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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