ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
