There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
