Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
