Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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