That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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