I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
