lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
