My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
