I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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