i don't plan on having that self control this summer
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
