i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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