CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
