My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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