is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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