Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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