Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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