She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
