I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
