i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
