Moan for me like Helen Keller
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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