just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
