Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
