she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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