i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
