I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
her vagine was all disorganized.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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