he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
