you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
