so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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